I don't know about anyone else, but I am disturbed. I suspect that is the state most people are in this month. I deliberately avoided watching THE HEARINGS because I suspected I would be even more upset, angered, frustrated, divided, unhinged than I already was. I was right, as I found out when I started reading accounts of what went on.
I like to think that I am a logical thinker. As such, I looked at Kavanaugh and his record and thought he might be the best we could do, given that we knew we'd be saddled with a conservative justice, no matter what. Then, Dr. Ford entered the arena, and threw a gigantic monkey wrench into the machinery.
The idea of dispassionate government and judicial procedure is a long way from the circus environment engendered by the injection of emotion into the world of politics. Trump has somehow let loose the floodgates on emotion. His is a government where emotion trumps (sorry) facts and theories. You can give a toddler all sorts of warnings and explanations of consequences, but he's going to proceed on emotion, no matter what. So does Trump. And electing him gave everyone the permission to be guided by emotion as well. If you are racist, if you are a white supremacist, if you (irrationally) hate any ethnic group, if you dislike your neighbor...go ahead. Call them names, shout them down, threaten them, lie about them. If the president can do it, it must be okay.
Into this maelstrom of anger and hate and lies and persecution complexes, comes the appointment of a Supreme Court justice. And not just any Supreme Court justice. Here is a guy who'll be there for life, who will change the balance of the court, who will be handing down judgments that will affect all of us for years to come. There is a lot on the line.
The atmosphere is fraught to begin with. The Republicans have sat on judicial appointments--including a Supreme Court vacancy--preventing Democratic appointments. Now, as they try to push through a confirmation that will solidify their dominance on the court, Democrats are reacting with a (not unexpected) "Not so fast..." and are dragging their heels. Enter Dr. Ford.
No matter whom you believe, this has slowed down the process. And it's hard to know whom to believe. I think both believe what they are saying. I find Dr. Ford more believable in her account. Kavanaugh is too defensive, too angry, too emotional, too irrational at times, for me to look at him and say he should sit on the highest court in the country.
But, this confirmation hearing is not going to hang on who did what 30 years ago. When reality sets in, nobody really knows, or can prove what went on. Times were different, 'normal' behavior was different. Things that happened might have been horrible; girls were subjected to all sorts of horrendous behavior, and boys got away with it. It was wrong. But going back and judging past behavior by today's standards is ...well, wrong as well. Nothing makes frat-boy behavior acceptable, but ..more understandable, at least. And you have to allow for growing up. I wouldn't want to be judged today on my behavior when I was in high school, college, or grad school. There was a lot I didn't know, then, and I have changed. So have Dr. Ford and Brett Kavanaugh, I am sure.
BUT...and this is a huge "but": the performance we saw in the hearings is happening today. We're not looking at a frightened 15-year-old girl, anymore, but a poised and thoughtful woman who, despite her pain, has come to understand what happened to her. We are not seeing a teenage Kavanaugh today when we see him losing his temper, threatening those who oppose him, ignoring questions, or turning them back on his questioners. (or maybe we ARE.) What we are seeing is Kavanaugh under duress, and that ...is not an encouraging spectacle. I can understand a certain degree of anger and indignation--particularly if innocent (which is debatable, still.) However, he demonstrated no grace under pressure, no judicial calm, no damping down of emotion. His was a Trumpian performance, and I would never want to seat a mercurial, adversarial, rude, entitled, self-aggrandizing person as a judge at any level, much less the Supreme Court. In the words of a number of commentators, this was a job interview, and he blew it. Teenage foibles can be understood, and perhaps even forgiven, but carrying that defensive attitude into adulthood just doesn't work.
We have been emotionally hijacked in this proceeding. No matter how hard we try to be fair and open to all information we receive, we all have an emotional response--to Dr. Ford's wrenching testimony, to Judge Kavanaugh's heated denials, to the accounts we see and hear and read in magazines, on TV, and in the newspapers--even on Saturday Night Live. Heart and head are under assault. Deciding which to listen to is no easy task. Perhaps we should just set this aside and start anew.
But that is no longer an option. Kavanagh has been confirmed and we will just have to live with that fact. I disagree with that confirmation. I care, deeply, about what I think was a colossal mistake, but have no authority in the matter except for the most indirect influence: my ability to vote for or against those who made this decision. I intend to exercise that right, and I pray daily for a return to normalcy, a return to balance--and the continued good health of Ruth Bader Ginsberg and her liberal colleagues on the court. We cannot survive another Trump justice.
